Wonder Women

Organizing with Kids - the Bathroom

 
Summer is organizing time for me. Homeschooling six kids means LOTS to organize. This summer I signed up for Simplify101's Organizing with Kids online class. I have absolutely loved the ideas and the inspiration. I thought I would share my projects with you.

The first project I'm going to share is the last room I want to go into: the kids' upstairs bath. I have FIVE boys and ONE girl using one bathroom. Need I explain more? Aby's class really helped me evaluate the problems I was having with this room.

You see two of the problems in the above photo: the kids leave towels and swimsuits on the floor. In the past I might have just thought about how MISBEHAVED the kids were and gotten nowhere. The truth is they didn't have a good place to hang wet swimsuits and towels. One or two people can store these things on the shower railing, but six CANNOT. An additional problem I had with the towels was knowing whose was whose. While I had long ago bought each child a specific color towel, the kids managed to mess up that system by arguing that their color was the turquoise blue and not the deep blue. They had also begun ignoring the color system completely. Most of the towels were very worn, so I was ready to make a change.

I decided I wanted to get the kids personalized towels to solve the problem. I also wanted each child to have a place to hang wet swimsuits. This is what I came up with:

I can't even explain how giddy I am over this. I ordered the towels from PotteryBarn Teen. I was set to get even cuter towels from PotteryBarn kids, but I wanted bigger towels, especially now that I have TWO teens in the house. These towels are so luxurious! The hooks I bought from Home Depot. A smaller hook holds the kids' swimsuits underneath the towel. The kids do leave their clothes in the bathroom after showering, too, but I do not want a clothes hamper in here holding a mix of things. Instead, I will be checking the bathroom daily and making the offenders return their dirty clothing to their respective hampers.

 
Problem #2 was a jumble of toiletries. I had attempted to solve the problem with labeled plastic drawers. These were ignored and no one had any idea whose toothbrush, toothpaste, and hair brush was whose. A collosal mess was made in the two drawers under the sink.

 
 I figured the answer had to have something to do with the closet, whose space was being poorly used.

This was my answer. I bought mesh toiletry bags for each kid from Amazon for under $5 each. I also bought second towels in turquoise with the kids' names embroidered in white to use alternate weeks. 

I quickly grabbed scrapbooking supplies to label each kid's bag. The kids did the rest using my LetraTag label maker. Not only are the bags labeled, but everything inside is, too.

One of the important aspects of this class is that the kids be involved. I was thrilled that my daughter wanted to clean the sink. I should have asked her to pay me to do it, Huckleberry Finn style. :-) 

 
Here's the sink after. I have since purchased bathroom cups and a SpongeBob soap dispenser. I leave the dental rinse and cleaning wipes out so they will be used, even though it doesn't look as neat. 

So that's my bathroom organizing project with the kids. I look forward to showing you the other projects soon! 

The Easy Way to Create a Digital Recipe Box

I have a kitchen filing drawer full of recipes. They are a mix of precious heirloom recipes, old Specific Carbohydrate Diet recipes I no longer use, recipes from friends, and recipes culled from magazines. While this system of organizing recipes has served me well, I wanted to adopt a new approach in keeping with how I use recipes today.

Unless I am searching for an old family favorite, I am unlikely to go drawer diving for a recipe anymore. I typically go to AllRecipes.com and then follow the recipe on my iPad. Although I like the website, am a supporting member, and have their iPad app, I did a little research to see what was the best method of accomplishing what I wanted. Some approaches I considered:

- Scanning my recipes to Evernote
- www.plantoeat.com
- Paying BigOven to convert my recipes for use with their website from an iPhone photo
- Scanning my recipes to specific computer folders
- Emailing myself recipes that would then be archived in Gmail folders
- Entering everything into the Shop 'n Cook software I have on the Mac

Ultimately, the time, expense, or lack of features (e.g., no way to menu plan or create shopping lists) made me decide against each of these. Here is the super fast and effective method I decided on:

1) Go through recipes section by section and throw away any that I know I won't use
2) Check on AllRecipes.com for the recipe. If I haven't tried the recipe I am searching for, I look for a top-rated recipe for the same thing and throw away the original. I add the digital recipe to my AllRecipes box.
3) If I can't find the recipe by name, or if I can't find a close enough match, I click on ingredients and search for the signature ingredients. If a find a match or something close enough, I make the addition to my digital recipe box.
4) If I can't find what I want in AllRecipes, I add a new tab to my browser and search for the recipe by name or ingredients on Google. If I have the recipe from a magazine, I include its title in my search terms. I typically find not only the recipe, but a great photo to go with it. I scan several search results until I find the recipe I want. I highlight the URL in the address bar. Right click and choose copy. Now return to my AllRecipes.com tab. Click on my Recipe Box. Click on options at the top and choose Add Weblink from the Dropdown options. Left click in the URL box, then right click and choose paste. Enter and I have the option of selecting no picture or from the images on the website. Categorize my link at the bottom as appetizer, main dish, etc. Save it, preview it, and add the link. The recipe now appears in my box. I throw away the paper recipe unless it's a keepsake.
5) Make a pile of recipes that I can't find. Hand enter these on AllRecipes.com (I don't have many). I will scan the picture to add to these recipes if I have one and care to take the time. I throw these recipes away when I'm done unless they are heirlooms.
6) Scan or photograph precious recipes. I should have a digital version of these in my recipe box now, but typically the handwriting and stains mean a lot to me. I will make sure I have a backup of these scans. I will add the originals to a recipe scrapbook I am creating.
7) Access my recipes from my AllRecipes iPad app and get cooking! I love seeing the modifications people make to recipes, having a shopping list, and just letting the app inspire me with yummy-looking recipes that I may want to add to my box. I also love the built-in timer. If you are an AllRecipes user, look up melphd. By the way, I haven't been given anything in return for this promo.
8) Enjoy or utilize the freed up recipe space.

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Change

Photo link

If you're struggling to get things done or to make significant changes in your life, it pays to consider whether you're at war with your inner rebel. Are you:

• Giving your rebel too many rules? Are any of the rules extreme, seemingly stupid, or put in place to please others?
• Asking your rebel to do something far too easy for her? Have you neglected to give her a big challenge, preferably with some competition thrown in?
• Neglecting to give your rebel the opportunity to be unique or to lead others in the process of change? Are you inadvertently encouraging her to follow the sheep?
• Disrespecting your rebel by putting her down? Are you asking her to follow the advice of someone who's a hypocrite or has few credentials (even if that's you)?
• Heaping on the guilt, in an effort to motivate your rebel, for tasks that aren't vital to sustaining important relationships?

You might consider referring to these questions whenever you seem to be experiencing resistance to change. You might also consider a related article on how feeling obligated can produce resistance. 

The truth is, however, that even after addressing all of these potential rebel stumbling blocks, you still may not have the change you want. I've been there! In those situations, it's time for a Super Power solution. 

One of my favorite changed rebel stories is that of George Mueller. More than a rebel, he was a conniving thief! He attended a prayer meeting with a friend with the intention of making fun of it later at the bar. But hearing the Word of God brought him up short. He continued to attend those meetings until he felt compelled to submit his life to Jesus Christ. George's life changed radically. But one thing didn't change; George was still very strong-willed. He ended up becoming an example of what radical faith can do.

In the same way, your inner rebel is likely to keep her strong will. God can use that strength to do great things. But perhaps like George, you need to hear the Word of God and you need to bow the knee to Jesus Christ and His purposes for your life. That's my prayer for you.

Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.

Hosea 14:9

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Guilt

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Respect

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Superior

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Challenge

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Intro

 

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Guilt

Whereas brats rarely feel guilt, rebels are quite prone to it. After all, they aren't rebelling because they want to hurt people for the most part. They're rebelling because they feel they know best and refuse to be constrained by silly rules made by people they don't respect. A rebel will respond to the demands of someone on a power trip with intentional sloth. But give them someone truly in need and they will expend all their effort to help. Of course, the helpee is also much more likely to respect said rebel than the overbearing authority figure.

This is an issue to discuss with respect to getting things done because we intuitively know that guilt works to get our inner rebels moving. Their surprisingly tender hearts will often get them up and busy when nothing else will. The problem is we tend to abuse this strategy to the point that it backfires. Guilt is such a painful emotion for the rebel that if we heap it on, the rebel may just plug her ears and ignore us, even when the guilt is appropriate.

Here are some examples of the inappropiate use of guilt as a rebel motivating tool:

• How can you stuff your face when there are millions of people who don't have enough to eat?
• There are so many unemployed people right now who would kill to have your job and all you can do is whine about what you have to do
• Think of all the infertile women who would love to have a child and all you can do is complain about how crazy yours are driving you

Instead, consider posing these guilt-free questions:

• What need are you meeting with food that you could meet in more constructive ways?
• Is there a way you could make your job more satisfying or are you ready to look for a new one?
• When are your children easiest to be around and is there a way you could encourage that environment more often?

Guilt is effective with your inner rebel, but it should be used sparingly. Use it when your grandma is in the hospital and your rebel wants to finish watching all the episodes of her favorite TV show on Netflix before visiting her. 

A good clue that you're using guilt to motivate is the word 'should' and its derivatives. What kinds of shoulds have you heaped on your inner rebel to no avail? 

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Respect

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Superior

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Challenge

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Intro

 

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Respect

We might be able to get away with disrespecting a brat, because a brat only cares about herself. Rebel's are another story. Rebels, despite their desire to stand out from the crowd in occasionally annoying ways, demand respect from others. The less respect they get, the worse their behavior. 

One particular show of disrespect that rebels hate is being ignored. When your inner rebel says something, it's best to pay attention because she will make herself heard, one way or another. When you agree to manage a project out of guilt or your desire to people please, listen to your rebel saying, "I'm not doing it." If you don't, you'll be scrambling to finish it at the last minute or worse, you'll lose face for not finishing it at all. Your rebel won't care if you lose face, but you probably will. When your rebel speaks, tell the person requesting help (even if it's you), "Let me look at my schedule and I'll get back to you." Then discuss the matter with your inner rebel. Another strategy that has worked well for me is to ask an outward rebel if the new project or new approach makes sense. If my rebel friend says, "Forget it!" I figure that's what my inner rebel is saying, too.

A second show of disrespect that revs up our rebels is character assasination. Rebels are practical, fearless, mavericks who will work like dogs on worthwhile tasks. If you tell her she's a lazy, good-for-nothing whom no one likes, you will live to regret it. Often we think this kind of tough talk motivates our rebels. It certainly does! But not in the way we want. Our inner rebels will go to extremes to prove that their approach is a good one, even when it isn't. Instead of putting yourself down for not doing what you think needs to be done, ask yourself if there is a good reason you're resisting. Often your rebel's approach is a lot healthier and balanced. If she says that you don't need to mop every night (because that's stupid), try mopping less often and see if your floor doesn't stay clean enough. If it does, give your rebel credit for talking sense to you.

A final way that disrespect operates to keep our rebels pitching fits is being unworthy of respect ourselves. Often we tell our rebels that we know better, and that Dr. So-and-So, and the Journal of Such-and-Such know better than they do. Hypocrisy, an unproven track record, or a snotty "expert" will not get your rebel to go along with you. Rebels abhor Martha Stewart even if you are crazy about her. They're more likely to love FLYLady because she's real (as long as they don't have to wear their shoes in the house). Instead of showing your rebel a picture of House Beautiful, have her watch Clean Sweep or talk to a true slob who has managed to keep things up well enough. Don't use a rich executive with a personal secretary to do her bidding as an example of what productivity looks like. Better to show her a home-based business owner who makes a decent living, but rarely takes time to dust.

The bottom line is, we have to talk to our rebels the way we talk to beloved friends, family, and co-workers who just happen to be different than we are. The truth is we can learn a lot from them! 

What things have you agreed to do that your rebel (or a rebel friend) warned you that you shouldn't and she was right? What would you do differently if you gave your rebel the respect she deserves?

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Superior

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Challenge

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Intro

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Superior

A brat typically wants to fit in; a rebel always wants to stand out. A brat wants to wear the same designer clothes that her friends have, no matter what her budget. A rebel wears Goodwill clothes in a bizarre combination if she thinks it will set her apart. A rebel's desire to be superior sometimes explains her disdain for rules and her desire to be challenged. This principle means that it's misguided to tell a rebel:

• She must join Weight Watchers because everyone she knows belongs
• She should use David Allen's GTD philosophy to be more productive because it's the most popular approach
• She should sign up for FLYLady's emails because it works for most of her friends

I have thought of myself as anything but a rebel for most of my life, but I can identify with this rebel characteristic. I wanted to go to a "better" college than any of my classmates--preferably one that no one was familiar with. I also chose to stay at home, homeschool, and have a home birth--all choices that definitely made me stand out! 

If you want to give your rebel a chance to shine, consider:

• Using a new approach or a tried-and-true approach with a unique twist 
• Letting your rebel teach or lead while learning 
• Entering a competition

I have used these principles without even realizing it to good effect. I have created my own task management, housekeeping, and homeschooling approaches. As long as I don't turn these approaches into rules, I do well. I typically blog or speak about subjects I am still trying to master myself, allowing my inner rebel to feel superior even when she's not. When I completed the Body for Life program, I had in mind that I was going to enter the competition, even though I didn't. 

What kinds of things have you done that have set you apart from the crowd? How can you turn the things you want to do into an opportunity for your rebel to shine?

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Challenge

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Intro

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Challenge

When dealing with a brat, we are inclined to make rules for behavior and to make them easy to follow. I explained in yesterday's post that rules should be avoided for rebels and today I will explain that we shouldn't make life easy for our inner rebels either.

If we are struggling to get things done, we typically assume that the task is just too hard. So we might:

- Tell ourselves to pick up one item from our filthy bedroom floor
- Eat one serving of fruit or drink one glass of water a day to lose weight
- Set the timer for five minutes to focus on the task at hand

There is no question that these approaches work! I have recommended them and used them many times. The problem is that the typical rebel isn't underachieving because the task is too hard, but because it's too easy. Rebels are perfectly capable of picking up, losing weight, and focusing. They just don't want to because we have given them no good reason to do so.

I remember having a genius sixth grader in my class, when I was an elementary student, who had been arrested for armed robbery. School was absolutely no challenge for him; getting away with other people's stuff was. I likewise struggled to accomplish any of the steps toward getting my Ph.D. until my husband told me I had to finish it in record time. Not only did I finish my Ph.D. in a matter of months, but I had a great time showing the psych department that it could be done.

Your inner rebel can get things done when you make it a real challenge for her.

- Challenge her to completely makeover her home in a month and submit the photos for a contest or publication
- Challenge her to enter a 12-week weight loss or transformation competition
- Challenge her to write a novel in a month or get all of her work done for the week by Wednesday (if you're really crazy, four hours)

Your rebel can get great things done, but not if you expect too little of her. What kinds of challenges has your rebel met in the past? What kinds of challenges could motivate her today?

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules
Rebel's Guide to GTD - Intro

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The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules

 
The first thing we are tempted to do when dealing with our inner brat is to give her some rules. Your brat procrastinated on that big project and you had to stay up all night getting it done? She hasn't taken advantage of that expensive gym membership even one time since January? She has been web surfing for hours while the laundry evolves into a leviathon?

You surmise that what your brat needs is some good old-fashioned discipline. From now on, she is going to be up at 5:45 a.m. so she can be at the gym first thing. She could have gotten away with working out three days a week if she had kept at it in January, but now that it's summer, she will be up and sweating every single day if it kills her. You don't care how tired she is after a long day of exercising, working, teaching, mothering, cooking, and housekeeping, she IS going to spend an hour working on long-term projects before she even touches the computer keyboard. And two loads of laundry must be washed, dried, folded, and put away each evening or she will not be able to read or watch TV. She'll learn, right?

The rebel that lives inside of each one of us revolts in response to rules. I have witnessed this time and time again in people I love who are more outer than inner rebels. Rules are quickly assessed as "stupid" and not applicable to them. As an outward rule follower myself, I marvel at their refusal to acquiesce, and deep down, respect them for it. Nine times out of ten they are absolutely right that the rule is wrong. If you listen closely, you will hear your inner rebel roar when you give them rules like:

• Absolutely no fat, carbs, or sweets
• Everything must be recorded and tagged in a to-do list
• Every decent photo must be scrapbooked and journaled chronologically
• Everything you eat must be weighed, measured, and recorded
• Every goal must be written, shared, and broken down into mini steps
• You must eat 9-11 servings of produce and drink 11 cups of water daily
• You must adhere to the schedule laid out in 15-minute increments

Most people who struggle to make meaningful lasting change are dealing with an inner rebel who hates rules. Two case studies. The first is FLYLady. I wrote a Woman's Day article about her home organizing routines more than a decade ago. Although she was an immediate success, there were as many anti-FLYLady responders as there were fan girls. FLYLady's rule that women wear their shoes all day really raised a rebel ruckus. Groups of FLYLady adherents formed whose identity was simply that they refused to wear their shoes in the house. 

A second case study. Mark Forster developed a system of task management that initially thrilled his rebel forum. Tasks could be accomplished simply by intuition, when they "felt ready to be done." The only problem was there were still a number of rules in the system. Immediately, the forum members objected to the rules and began proposing alternate rules. More than two years later, they are still at it.

If you are giving your rebel rules, your inner forum is revolting against you! So what are we to do? Don't we still need rules to get our rebel in line? Rules work better for rebels when:

• There are few of them. That's why trying to crack down in multiple areas backfires.
• There is a really good reason for the rules you have. A rebel will immediately ask, "Why should I?" You better be ready with an excellent answer!
• The rules aren't merely to please people. People pleasing isn't what rebels do. 
• The rules aren't extreme. Rebels still believe in common sense.
• The rules aren't based in fear. Rebels aren't afraid of much, especially consequences that "might, possibly" happen.

I will give you a personal example of the Rebel Rules Philosophy in action. I would like to cook healthier meals more often. So today I noted a weekly menu on AllRecipes.com that was for grilled meals, complete with shopping list. I read one review that raved about this menu and I added it to my shopping list. My kids and the cicadas outside were very noisy at the time, but I could hear my inner rebel pitching a fit. She was saying, "You're supposed to grill EVERY DAY for a week? Really? Your kids are going to eat grilled zucchini boats? Uh-huh. And you're going to make a grilled dessert every night? That is just stupid!" 

So rather than do what I would normally do and buy everything I need for the grilled weekly menu, only to let the stuff spoil because I don't cook it, and then wonder why I am so lazy, I listened to my rebel. I might grill once or twice this week instead.

What kinds of rules have you given your rebels that have been resisted? Are there any rules you've laid down that have lasted?

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Intro

The Rebel's Guide to Getting Things Done

In my book, So You're Not Wonder Woman, I describe the resistance to change as being the fault of our inner brat (a label borrowed from Pam Young). When I think about what brats need, my first thought is a good whoopin'! That's where the brat analogy breaks down.

When our inner brat doesn't do right, we often try to whoop her. We berate, punish, and lay down the law. That might work if we were really dealing with an undisciplined brat. However, my recent experience raising a strong-willed teen has convinced me that we are not dealing with inner brats, but inner rebels. Trust me, you do not want to whoop a rebel!

I realized that although I knew what to say and do with respect to the real life rebels in my life, I was not applying those same principles when it came to the rebel in me. After beginning to practice rebel-friendly principles for self change, I am enjoying increased productivity and peace. If you want to make important life changes, achieve your goals, and get things done, you need to learn how to relate to your inner rebel, too. In a series of upcoming posts, I will share strategies for getting along with your rebel so you can get great things done.

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Change - conclusion

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Guilt - part 5

Rebel's Guide to GTD - Respect - part 4

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Superior - part 3

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Challenge - part 2

The Rebel's Guide to GTD - Rules - part 1

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Get Organized with Context Days

Wondering when to tackle a given task can lead to procrastination and overwhelm. The GTD philosophy advises dividing all our to do's into contexts (@computer, @office) etc. That structure can help you group activities by tool or location, but it gives us no structure for when we should be doing certain tasks.

I like my newly developed day-based contexts which just expand on those I learned from www.FLYLady.net.

Money and Mail Mondays - These are the days I will focus on work related tasks and will get stuff in the mail. These are the tasks I enjoy least, so I want to get them out of the way at the beginning of the week.

Teaching Tuesdays - These are days I will focus on school-related tasks.

Windows Wednesdays - Wednesdays will be the days I focus on computer-related tasks.

Thinking Thursdays - This is the day set aside for projects that require time or focus.

Fun Fridays - This is a day to accomplish all the quick, enjoyable to do's like watching You-Tube videos or reading links friends send.

Shopping Saturdays - This is my grocery and errand day.

Sweet Sundays - The sweet reminds me to be sweet with the Lord, family, and friends. I will take care to correspond with people and spend special time with them.

Obviously, I can't work or teach or do computer tasks only on the day assigned. And I better not restrict my sweetness to Sundays! But when I have a non-urgent, irregular task, I can absolutely save it until the appropriate context day. I use www.goodtodo.com to manage my tasks which makes this approach super simple.

Let's say I get an email saying that I need to send a registration form and check for my child's activity to a given address. I simply forward the email to Monday@goodtodo.com, archive the email, and move on. I read that a friend's parent has passed on Facebook and I want to send a sympathy card. I have a few options, depending on the day. I can email a note to buy a sympathy card to Saturday@goodtodo.com (or add the task by opening the app on my phone or computer). I could also send it to Sunday if I already have a card or Wednesday if I want to send a card from www.SendOutCards.com.

Not only will context days help you group your tasks for efficiency, but they enable you to automatically schedule tasks as well. You can keep your email inbox empty and have peace of mind knowing that all your tasks are scheduled. Can't get to everything? If the task still isn't urgent, simply redate for the following week (it's so easy with goodtodo). I received nothing for this recommendation from goodtodo, but I might email Monday@goodtodo.com to remind myself to ask them for some $ off my subscription. :-)

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